Let’s face it. Most of my life was not taking responsibility for myself. I felt like life was happening to me and not for me as I believe today.

What that looked like was one heck of a lot of blaming. Yep. Blaming my mom, dad, exes (I had quite a few), siblings, friends, IRS, FBI (that’s a good story), God and myself. Yes, there were times that I had been victimized, yet when I realized that staying stuck in that energy wasn’t helping me manifest things in my life, it was time to make a change.

Coming to the realization that I couldn’t change what happened in the past, but what I could do was shift my perception around it so that it could better serve me in my present moment – now that I could wrap my head and heart around.

Self-Responsibility is taking ownership for your behavior, choices and actions and the consequences of those behaviors, choices and actions.

Not accepting responsibility for our actions hinders our ability to respect ourselves. It can affect our minds and hearts over time. And if we fail to take responsibility for an action or behavior, it actually eats away at how we feel about ourselves.

Now, we are human and therefore we make mistakes and poor choices and maybe fail to act when we know we should. And that’s okay as long as we are willing to circle back and take responsibility for our part.

Learning to take responsibility for ourselves and our decisions and choices can be a doozy. Especially when we feel we have been hurt and wronged by others. This isn’t saying that what someone else did was right or wrong.

It’s knowing that when we blame others, it puts us in a victim mode where we feel powerless. And being a victim isn’t a place where we can feel self-respect, let alone powerful.

You hear me talk a lot about Radical Forgiveness and part of that is being radically responsible. Being willing to take 100% responsibility for ourselves. This includes how we interpret things, how we feel, what we think and what we do. It’s from this foundation that we quit giving our power away and we then are in control of our transformation and inner freedom.

Self-responsibility is vital to our well-being. We are in charge of our own experience, and we get to decide how we want to move forward – powerless or powerful.

Here are some tips and exercises to guide you on the road of discovering self-responsibility:

  1. Take responsibility for all your mind chatter.


Develop self-affirming self-talk scripts to enhance your personal development & growth.

  1. Quit putting your stuff on other people – like your partner – it’s not their job to handle your emotional needs. That’s yours.


Ask yourself – what is it that you are really wanting? Instead of dumping on others, you can learn to ask for that hug or attention that you really want. Take some time and write out your desires.

  1. Look at where you are abdicating your control – meaning, who are you letting run the show in your head and life? Are you making decisions for yourself or asking others to make them for you?


Make an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues & positive points. This will help you remember that you are strong and confident and have a purpose.

Take responsibility for your health – you are a co-creator – it’s not up to the doctor or practitioner to heal you. You have control over your mind and thoughts – YOU are powerful!