In this deeply compassionate episode, I create a safe space to explore one of the most complex relationships in our lives – the one with our mothers. As Mother’s Day approaches, I recognize that this holiday isn’t simply about celebration for many of us; it can stir profound emotions ranging from love and gratitude to grief, regret, and even resentment.

“Our mothers are often our first mirror. The way they spoke to us, touched us, showed up or did not show up leaves lasting imprints.”

Speaking from my own experience as both a forgiveness coach and someone who’s walked this path, I share that our maternal relationships often form the template for how we relate to ourselves and others. Our mothers are frequently our first mirrors – the way they spoke to us, touched us, showed up or failed to show up leaves lasting imprints that can manifest as people-pleasing tendencies, self-doubt, and the persistent fear of being either too much or not enough.

With gentle honesty, I offer a liberating truth: you’re allowed to acknowledge what hurt you, even if your mother did her best. You’re allowed to grieve what you didn’t receive, even if you love her deeply. This permission to hold these seemingly contradictory truths opens the door to authentic healing.

“Forgiveness isn’t about saying ‘it’s fine, it’s okay, what happened, happened.’ It’s about saying, ‘I choose peace for myself now.'”

I guide you through five transformative steps toward forgiveness, beginning with acknowledging the impact. I invite you to explore what you needed but didn’t receive – perhaps emotional validation, safety, encouragement, or simply being seen for who you truly were. Sharing my own story of being a parentified daughter who raised my mother rather than being raised by her, I illustrate how naming these wounds becomes the foundation for healing.

The second step involves humanizing your mother’s story – recognizing that she likely parented from the limited tools she received, carrying her own unhealed wounds or cultural expectations. Importantly, I emphasize that seeing her humanity doesn’t excuse any hurt she caused; it simply loosens your grip on painful narratives.

In the third step, I address the misconception that forgiveness is only about positive emotions. True forgiveness often requires moving through anger, grief, and sadness. I validate these feelings and encourage expressing them safely – whether through journaling, crying, or physical release – while suggesting professional support for those dealing with significant trauma.

The fourth step focuses on boundaries, reminding you that forgiveness doesn’t equal reconciliation. You can forgive someone while still limiting contact or changing how you interact with them to protect your emotional wellbeing. This step empowers you to rewrite old dynamics rather than falling into familiar family roles.

The final step centers on reclaiming your narrative. You are not defined by what you didn’t receive. You now have the opportunity to mother yourself – to speak kindly to yourself, trust your intuition, and create a nurturing inner voice that says, “I’ve got you now. You are safe with me.”

“Seeing her humanity does not excuse the hurt. It just softens your grip on the story.”

The episode includes a guided moment to connect with your inner child, inviting you to close your eyes, place a hand over your heart, and imagine your younger self who simply wanted to be loved and accepted. What does that child need to hear today? This exercise offers a powerful gateway to self-compassion and healing.

I conclude with journal prompts to deepen your exploration: “What did I need as a child that I didn’t get?” “What part of me still seeks love or approval from my mother?” and “What would emotional freedom look like for me today?”

Throughout the episode, I emphasize that forgiveness is not a one-time decision but a process that unfolds at your own pace. You’re allowed to both love your mother and hold boundaries. You’re allowed to grieve, let go, and heal on your own timeline.

This Mother’s Day, I invite you to choose peace, choose your truth, and choose healing – whatever that looks like for you.

“You are allowed to both love your mother and hold boundaries. You are allowed to grieve, to let go, and to heal at your own pace.”

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60