When you hear the word ‘intimacy,’ what comes to mind? For many, it’s synonymous with romance or physical closeness. But what if intimacy was less about being with another and more about being fully present with ourselves?

‘Into-Me-See’ is a powerful practice of self-intimacy – the act of seeing ourselves clearly and compassionately without judgment. It’s about removing the armor we wear to protect ourselves and embracing every part of who we are – even the parts we usually hide away.

Why It Matters

Let me share a story about a client that we’ll call Linda, a successful entrepreneur who seemed to have it all together on the outside. Despite her accomplishments, she constantly sought validation from her partner, team, and friends. She found herself asking, ‘Do you think I’m doing a good job?’ or ‘Do you still love me?’

During our work together, Linda realized that her need for external validation was rooted in her own disconnection from herself. Through the practice of ‘Into-Me-See,’ she began to sit with herself – looking into the mirror, removing the armor of perfectionism, and acknowledging her own fears and desires. As she embraced all parts of herself, she stopped seeking others to complete her and started to show up more fully in her relationships. This is the transformative power of self-intimacy.

When we deepen our self-intimacy, we begin to change the dynamics of all our relationships. We stop seeking validation from others and start connecting from a place of wholeness. Imagine showing up to your relationships without needing to be completed by someone else – that’s the power of ‘Into-Me-See.’

How Does Self-Intimacy Impact Your Relationships?

When we deepen our self-intimacy, we begin to change the dynamics of all our relationships. Instead of seeking validation or completion from others, we connect from a place of wholeness. Imagine showing up to your relationships without the need for someone to fill the emotional gaps within you. This is the power of ‘Into-Me-See.’

As we practice self-intimacy, we become less reactive and more responsive. We’re able to communicate our needs without expecting someone else to fix or complete us. Relationships become richer and more authentic because we’re no longer projecting our unhealed wounds onto others. We become more present, more accepting, and more available to deeply connect – without fear or hidden agendas.

Ask yourself: ‘How am I showing up in my relationships right now? Am I seeking validation or connection? And how would it feel to show up as my whole, authentic self?’

Three Practices to Begin Your ‘Into-Me-See’ Journey:

1. The Mirror Exercise:
   Sit in front of a mirror and look into your own eyes. Ask yourself, ‘What am I afraid to see when I look into myself?‘ Stay with whatever comes up, even if it’s uncomfortable. This practice is the starting point of self-intimacy.
2. Removing the Armor:
   Take a moment to reflect on how you might be using achievements, perfectionism, or people-pleasing as a shield. Ask yourself, ‘What armor am I wearing right now? What would it feel like to take it off and let myself be seen – even if only by me?’
3. Embracing the Shadow:
   True intimacy isn’t just about loving the parts of ourselves we like. It’s also about acknowledging the parts we judge or reject. Reflect on the question: ‘If I could sit with one aspect of myself that I judge or reject, what would it be? And what would I say to that part of me?’

10 Reflection Questions for Deeper Self-Intimacy:

1. What is it about knowing myself that I’m afraid of?
2. What do I believe intimacy is? And where did that belief come from?
3. Whose story am I holding about intimacy?
4. How can I practice intimacy with myself today?
5. What part of me have I been avoiding or hiding?
6. What am I afraid to see when I look into myself?
7. What would happen if I could see and accept all of me?
8. What armor am I wearing right now?
9. What would it feel like to take off that armor and let myself be seen, even if only by me?
10. If I could sit with one aspect of myself that I judge or reject, what would it be? And what would I say to that part of me?

Download your free Into-Me-See worksheet and start reflecting today.

Take some time today to choose one question that resonates with you. Journal your thoughts, let your feelings flow, and see what comes up.

This practice of ‘Into-Me-See’ may be one of the most profound ways to cultivate true self-intimacy – and in turn, deepen your connections with others.

Honor the ‘Into-Me-See’ moments and watch how it transforms not just your inner world but your outer connections as well.