That tightness in your head – almost feeling like a headache and your body is tense and you drop something or stub your toe getting out of bed and you start cussing.
Yeah…I get that.
I just went through this.
Now…it isn’t that we are angry for no reason. Really. Have you heard that saying that our thoughts create things? Well…they do.
There are people that tell us that thought comes first and that creates our feelings.
Then there are those people in the school of thought that say feelings create the thoughts.
Either way…it can feel pretty darn miserable.
For me…it is those subtle thoughts that create my anxiety and depression and anger because there isn’t really any major thought that happens but when I look back – after I explode into a tyranny of cuss words and swinging my arms and yelling at myself…that I realize something.
Oh…I’m mad at myself.
These sneaky little thoughts are about how I responded to someone or didn’t handle a situation right or that I made a mistake of some sort – and even though I was intellectually telling myself that everyone makes mistakes or I did apologize to that person – some part of me was holding onto the thought that I screwed up and it was having a hay day in my head – unbeknownst to me – until I stub my toe or hit my finger or can’t find my phone or keys.
That’s when it all comes rushing out in a pile of angry words which are usually directed at what an idiot I am or how could I be so stupid and then that turns into everyone else is better than me.
See how quickly we go down the rabbit hole?
Well…there’s a process that I want to share that can help us with that.
When you feel that familiar feeling of tension or after your explosion of angry words, say these statements out loud. Even yelling them works.
1. Look at what I created
2. I notice my judgments and I love myself anyway
3. I am willing to see the perfection in this situation
4. I choose the power of peace
We can use these when we’re running late, and someone cuts us off in traffic or is driving so S L O W. We can also use them when someone has ticked us off. That one can be tricky but as you get to know the forgiveness process, you will find some liberation by using these 4 steps.
The first one is about taking responsibility for your part. Even though we want to blame the other person, that’s giving them your power. So, this brings your power back to you.
The second is about giving yourself some grace for being human and showing the willingness to let go of those feelings of perfectionism or judgment of self.
Oh the third one can be a challenge for some people yet again, it’s about that word “willingness” as it can soften even the hardest judgment.
And that fourth one…can you feel it when you say it? Ahhh…the feeling of peace does ease the tension. Even a little bit.
So…your call to action is to be willing to try these four steps and tell me how it goes and what you experienced. I do really want to know.