Have you ever felt like you needed to prove you belong in the room? That little voice in your head whispers, What if they figure out I don’t know enough? Or what if I sound too assertive and rub people the wrong way?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome—the belief that you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be—affects many professionals, particularly women. It leads to self-doubt, over-apologizing, and softening language to avoid seeming too forceful. You might catch yourself saying things like, I’m not an expert, but… or This might be a silly idea, but… instead of owning your expertise.

The problem? When we undercut our own words, we send the message that we don’t fully believe in what we’re saying. If we don’t sound confident, why should anyone else believe in us?

Speaking with authority doesn’t mean being arrogant—it means delivering your ideas with clarity and confidence. Here’s how to do it, without feeling like a fraud.

Why Women Struggle with Speaking Authoritatively

Many women hesitate to assert themselves because of deeply ingrained societal norms and expectations. Here’s why:

Fear of Being Labeled as Aggressive or Bossy

Women are often expected to be warm, accommodating, and agreeable. When they speak with authority, they may be perceived as too aggressive or demanding—something their male counterparts rarely have to worry about. This double standard discourages many women from speaking up in a direct and confident manner.

Desire to Be Liked or Accepted

From an early age, women are often conditioned to seek approval. Assertiveness can feel risky because it might challenge relationships or make others uncomfortable. As a result, many women default to softer language, hedging their opinions with phrases like maybe or just my thoughts.

Societal Norms that Encourage Politeness Over Assertiveness

There’s a fine line between being polite and diminishing your own authority. Women are often taught to use polite, deferential language to avoid conflict. While kindness and collaboration are valuable, they shouldn’t come at the cost of being taken seriously.

The good news? You can shift your communication style to sound more authoritative while staying true to yourself.

How to Speak with Confidence

Drop Qualifiers

If you find yourself saying:

• I think we should try this approach.
• Maybe we could consider…
• I just wanted to add…

Try replacing those with:

• We should try this approach.
• This is the best direction to take.
• Here’s another perspective to consider.

Qualifiers like I think, just, and maybe weaken your message. Removing them makes your words stronger and more decisive.

Use a Strong Tone

Your tone and delivery matter just as much as your words. Avoid uptalk—raising your voice at the end of a sentence, which makes statements sound like questions. Instead, use a steady, confident tone.

For example:
Instead of: We could go with this strategy?
Try this:  We should go with this strategy.

Practice speaking in a lower, even tone to convey confidence.

Own Your Expertise

You don’t have to know everything to have valuable input. If you’re in the room, you bring insights that matter. Instead of prefacing your statements with disclaimers like I’m not an expert, but… try saying:

• From my experience, this approach works best.
• Based on the data, this is the most effective strategy.

Confidence isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about trusting that what you do know is valuable.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Speaking with authority is as much about mindset as it is about language. Here’s how to overcome the inner doubts that hold you back:

Recognize That Confidence Comes from Action, Not Perfection

Waiting until you feel confident before speaking up is a trap. Confidence grows through action. Speak up, take risks, and trust that each time you do, it gets easier.

Keep a Wins Journal

Imposter syndrome thrives on forgetfulness—we focus on our doubts while ignoring our successes. Keep a journal of your accomplishments, positive feedback, and moments when you spoke up and made an impact. When self-doubt creeps in, revisit your wins.

Surround Yourself with Supportive Mentors and Peers

Being around people who believe in you helps you believe in yourself. Seek mentors, colleagues, or friends who encourage you to own your expertise and speak with confidence.

Speaking with authority isn’t about being the loudest person in the room—it’s about delivering your ideas with clarity and confidence. You don’t need to soften your words or over-apologize to be liked. True leadership comes from owning your voice and trusting that your contributions matter.