Forgiveness can be seen as a profound grace we offer others, but it also serves as a gateway to inner peace and emotional balance for ourselves. The act of forgiveness itself helps release many emotional burdens we carry, which helps our mental stability and overall well-being. When we embrace forgiveness as part of our daily lives, it can help us have more mental clarity, reduce our stress levels, and strengthen our emotional resilience.

Understanding Forgiveness

At its core, forgiveness is a conscious decision to let go of resentment, anger, and feelings of vengeance over being wronged. Forgiveness does NOT always mean forgetting or excusing harmful behavior. It’s about freeing yourself from the emotional weight of the experience.

Forgiveness comes in various forms, including self-forgiveness and forgiving others. Self-forgiveness is about accepting our own mistakes without self-condemnation while forgiving others involves recognizing the harm they’ve caused without holding onto bitterness. One common misconception is that forgiveness condones or minimizes hurtful behavior. That’s not the case—true forgiveness acknowledges the pain but chooses not to let it dictate your mental and emotional state.

The Connection Between Forgiveness and Mental Health

Holding onto grudges can take its toll on your mental and physical health. When we cling to anger or resentment, our minds stay trapped in a cycle of negative emotions. We run the hurt over and over in our heads, and then, over time, this can look and act like chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression. The emotional baggage of unresolved anger drains our energy and keeps us stuck in a place of suffering. It doesn’t just hurt our brains; it hurts our bodies, too.

Studies show that people who practice forgiveness experience lower levels of depression and anxiety. When you forgive others or yourself, you’re directly impacting the level of Cortisol in your body. Cortisol is considered the ‘stress’ hormone, and lowering those levels with forgiveness promotes better mental health and stability in your life. Dr. Frederic Luskin, a leading researcher on forgiveness at Stanford University, discovered that forgiveness reduces stress, improves physical health, lowers blood pressure, and improves heart health. When we forgive, we aren’t just healing emotionally—we’re also promoting overall physical well-being. We allow ourselves to get into the beautiful cycle of a happy mind helping a happy heart, which helps a happy mind, and it’s a great thing!

Steps to Embrace Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a journey, though. It takes effort, purpose, and determination. It also takes an open heart and mind to follow the steps that make it the most effective process. Here are some steps to begin, and allow forgiveness to be a pathway to inner peace for yourself.

1. Acknowledge the Pain: The first step toward forgiveness is recognizing and validating the hurt. Ignoring the pain won’t help you heal; acknowledging it allows you to process what happened and begin letting go. Denial is a place too many of us live in because the pain just hurts too much. I know it hurts, but the only way to help it not hurt is to work through it.
2. Understand and Empathize: While it might feel hard, scary, and even a little useless, try to understand the reasons behind others’ actions. Being empathetic to and with them doesn’t mean you have to excuse their destructive behaviors; it just means you’re open to healing yourself, so you’ll try to look at motives within a bigger context. Think about how empathy could allow you to see the situation differently and maybe release your emotional burden a little bit.
3. Make the Decision to Forgive: Forgiveness doesn’t always happen naturally. Sometimes, it’s super awkward because it’s such a conscious choice you must make, and someone must accept it. Remember, this decision is for your own peace, not for the benefit of the person who hurt you, though that is an empathetic way to approach it. At the core of our souls, when we truly want the best for others, it’s much easier to accept the best for ourselves without guilt or resentment.
4. Let Go of Resentment: Speaking of resentment, once you’ve decided to forgive, start working on releasing resentment. Anger and bitterness only keep you tied to the past–past hurts, past pain, and past traumas. By letting go, you free up emotional space for healing. When you’re filled with peace and contentment, there’s not a lot of room for the pain of past wrongs.
5. Focus on the Present and Future: You must shift away from past wrongs and hurt and toward your present and future well-being. When you stop replaying old hurts, you create space for joy, peace, and new possibilities. So, think of forgiveness as not just a path to inner peace but a way to make space for new joy and peace every day in the future.

Strategies for Practicing Forgiveness in Daily Life

Forgiveness is often not just a one-time act. It’s a practice you can incorporate into your daily life to make it easier to live more harmoniously with everyone you interact with. Here are some strategies to help you do that:

1. Physical Release Practices: Sometimes, holding onto anger and resentment creates tension in our bodies. Physical activities like yoga, deep breathing exercises, or even going for a brisk walk can help release that stored energy. Physical movement connects the mind and body, helping you process emotions more effectively and let go of the negative feelings that hold you back.
2. Visualization: Visualization can be a powerful tool for letting go. Imagine the person or event that hurt you, and then picture yourself releasing those negative emotions. Create a visualized picture that puts your anger or resentment in a balloon that you can watch float away. If a balloon isn’t for you, create a mental image that lets you see the situation disappear and distances you from hurtful feelings.
3. Gratitude Practice: Shifting your mindset to one of gratitude can work wonders in the forgiveness process. An attitude of gratitude allows you to focus on all the positive things in your life. You can look at the things you learned from difficult situations as lesson opportunities, and that reframes your perspective. Writing down three things you’re grateful for each day can help you move past the pain and toward a place of peace and acceptance.
4. Forgiveness Rituals: Consider forgiveness rituals. Sometimes, you write a letter to someone you must forgive–you don’t have to send it. Tearing the letter up sometimes gives you more of an opportunity to ‘let go’ of the pain and emotional hurt attached. Maybe think about lighting a candle and then reflecting on forgiveness and how it’ll free you as you blow it out. Basically, any ritual that feels significant in your life can be of benefit.
5. Engaging in Acts of Kindness: Sometimes, offering kindness to others—even when you feel wronged—can open the door to forgiveness. Research shows that helping others can reduce stress and increase feelings of empathy and compassion, making forgiving easier. Small acts of kindness, like volunteering or helping a friend, remind you that positive interactions are possible, even when feeling hurt. 
6. Reframing Negative Thoughts: When feelings of resentment or anger keep hurting you, try to reframe them by asking yourself what lessons you’ve learned from the situation. This cognitive shift moves you from a place of pain to one of growth. It’s very empowering to see yourself in a learning situation instead of as a victim, and it can also help you feel more forgiving.
7. Setting Healthy Boundaries: Forgiving someone doesn’t mean allowing them back into your life without any changes! Oftentimes, forgiveness requires you to set firm boundaries. This may involve limiting contact with someone who has caused you pain or clearly communicating what is acceptable in your relationship moving forward. By setting boundaries, you protect your mental well-being and maintain the inner peace gained through forgiveness. This doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven them; it means you have but are also ensuring boundaries for healthy continued relationships.
8. Engage in Creative Expression: Creative expression can effectively outlet emotions tied to past hurts. Painting, music, or writing–when expressing yourself creatively, you process feelings in a nonverbal way. Over time, this creative release can reduce feelings of anger or bitterness, making room for forgiveness.
9. Practicing Patience and Self-Acceptance: Forgiveness is a process that takes time, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself throughout the journey. Accept that it’s okay to have moments where forgiving feels hard (it can be!), and don’t rush the process. Sometimes, it’s one step forward and two back, but you’ll recover your inner peace as your resentment lessens and forgiveness grows.

Overcoming Obstacles to Forgiveness

The truth is that fear of vulnerability, deep-seated anger, or even a reluctance to let go of the past can keep you stuck in old patterns. Don’t try to push those away; they can become barriers to forgiveness if you don’t acknowledge the concerns and work to move past them. A great strategy is to remind yourself of the benefits of forgiveness to your mental and emotional health. Each time you choose forgiveness, you are choosing peace over pain. Releasing resentment doesn’t make you weak; it makes you resilient and in charge. Understanding that forgiveness is a process that you are in control of can help you press forward, even on the tough days.

The Long-Term Benefits of Embracing Forgiveness

When you fully embrace forgiveness, your mental health’s long-term benefits are incredible! Here are just a few:

1. Improved Mental Health: By letting go of grudges, you free your mind from the weight of past hurts. This translates to lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Research consistently shows that people who practice forgiveness experience better overall mental health.
2. Enhanced Emotional Resilience: Forgiveness allows you to bounce back from life’s challenges more easily. It helps you let go of negative emotions, strengthening you emotionally.
3. Better Relationships: When you forgive, your relationships improve—not just with others but also with yourself. You’re less likely to hold onto bitterness, and this helps you have healthier, more fulfilling relationships with the people in your life.
4. Increased Inner Peace and Life Satisfaction: The most rewarding benefit of forgiveness is the inner peace that comes with it. You have more room for contentment and joy if you’re not holding on to resentment, shame, or guilt! When you’re focused on the present or future, the past hurts don’t hold any power over you anymore.

Forgiveness is a powerful pathway to inner peace and mental stability. It’s how you free yourself from the emotional weight of past hurts and open the door to a healthier, more peaceful mind. It’s not always an easy process, but the rewards—improved mental health, emotional resilience, and deeper connections with yourself and others–are worth it.

One of the best things to remember is that forgiveness is a practice, not a destination. Be patient with yourself and feel proud of the work you do, knowing that each step you take brings you closer to lasting peace.

If you’re ready to explore forgiveness more deeply, let’s connect to learn how to work together on this transformative journey. I want to help you make forgiveness a part of your daily life because you deserve the peace it brings.